Brandi Langford

I’m 25 years old, I've been married for two and a half years, and I don’t have children. My mother was 16 when she had my sister and 18 when she had me. She wishes she had the opportunities we have had, and I hate that she missed them. People here seem to think there's something wrong with wanting to wait. Before I moved here I was never asked why I didn't have kids, now I am asked twice a week. There's nothing wrong with wanting to wait.

A lot of kids feel pressure. A young lady, who didn't want to engage in sexual activity, told me that everybody else was and she felt left out. She wanted somebody that would “always love her back." If you feel the way to be loved is to have someone who is always dependent on you, its very sad to me. You've got to love yourself. I hope that parents will encourage kids to do something that is fun for them that keeps them out of trouble. You can succeed if you have a baby at 15, but it’s much less likely. Their decisions will affect their long term goals and plans. Grandparents raising grandkids is normal here. You don’t see that as much in other places. Teenagers are having pre-marital sex but no one is willing to talk about the concerns. I don't know the std rate here, but the teen pregnancy rate is very high. Why the willingness to engage in an activity that no one will even talk about? Something is missing. There is no longer an abstinence program here in Hale County. We have to start early ingraining this in kids’ heads, for them to grow up thinking that way.

Down here in the buckle of the bible belt its just one of those taboo subjects. If a 13 year old goes to the Hale County hospital pregnant, we should address the issue before we get in worse shape. A lot of parents don't want to face up to the issues, but it’s not going to get any better until people start addressing it. If that means being embarrassed in front of your child, then so be it. I would much rather be embarrassed now. I would tell the kids in Hale County to have enough respect for yourself to work hard and reap the rewards later on. Look at people you admire who are what you want to be, not those successful in terms of wealth or material possessions, but the satisfied people who have done what they wanted to with their lives. Look at the ones who are 30 years old and then have kids because they've done the things they can do on their own. Don't give in to what other people expect of you. Everybody has choices. You may not feel like you do sometimes, but if you analyze the details of your situation, you always see there is a choice. Don't put obstacles in your own way. Everything you do now is building up to your future... everything.

Brandi Langford

Trainer, Center for Career Development. Greensboro, Alabama

AIDT, Shelton State Community College

Outsidein. A Community Space for Hale County.